SportsCenter. Better known as, "Why my children should spend more time with others."

Tonight, Sequoia trotted down the steps in a boy's jersey and shorts as her pajamas. Daniel (husband, father) said something about how she looked sporty, unknowingly beginning the evening's entertainment.

A little context - I know nothing about sports.  Here are a few examples of how this makes me socially inept -

1. When recently playing Scattergories, I needed to name an athlete that started with G.  I wrote down George with no last name.  Daniel wrote down George Foreman.
2. When people talked about the big game last week, I didn't know UK and UL were playing.
3. When I found out there was a game, I thought they were still playing basketball because it's still warm outside.

So, Sequoia's (mis)understanding of sports is not her fault. She has no modeling, no games on the TV, no clothes bearing team names. About a year ago, we went to the park and saw people playing soccer, baseball, and basketball. She was giddy. Before this, she thought you just tossed balls about. And that they were all pink.

Flash forward.  Sequoia, looking like her very athletic cousins, decides to "play sports!" with Daniel.

Coy - Okay.  Now you be the student and I will be the sports teacher.
Daniel - Sports teachers have names - they aren't called teachers.
Coy - (Silent, thinking.)
Daniel - (Sounding it out) Co..
Coy - Co...
Daniel - Ch.
Coy - Ch.
D - Put it together
Coy - Choaku

They run about a bit, Daniel narrows the game down to basketball which they play in the living room with an imaginary ball.  Sequoia interjects.

Coy - Now you wear the magical cape that will keep other students
D - Players
Coy - Players from getting the ball. (She drapes a shirt over his shoulders)
D - So if I wear this cape, other players won't take the ball from me?
Coy - Yes!!  Ready, Set, Goooo!
Daniel runs around the house several times while Coya screams.
Coy - Good job!  You won!
...
Coy - Now I'm the teacher
D - Coach
Me - Athletic Facilitator (because it is impossible to not say this)
D - Coach
Coy - And I am wearing the magical, special boots (pulling on a pair of Daniel's socks)
D - What do they do?
Coy - Moving on. Now, you have to jump through the pushpa and rollinway over the zeedlebar.  Once the grathka comes in, you rovish and pullinsha-bole!

This is actually what I hear when others explain most games, so I think she is on to something.  An actual transcript of this monologue would be much longer and be punctuated with loads of gesturing, physical demonstration, and head movement.
...
Coy - Here inside your magical cape is a secret thing. (Reaches into Daniel's sleeve and pulls out a handful of air that she holds like a treasure)
Coy - See?  You use this to poke other people and keep them from getting the ball.
D - (Aside) I think she just fashioned a shank.
Coy - If you poke them with this, they won't take the ball from you anymore.
...
Coy - Now I want to play the sport where people wear masks.
D - Do you mean where they wear helmets (making a grid on his face with fingers)
Coy - Yes!

Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, and other Sports-Minded Folk - please influence our daughters a little more.  I got nothing.